Tonight has been pretty rough for me. I got so sick all of a sudden. I thought I was going to throw up because I was in so much pain, and I felt like I was going to pass out. I was scared and thought I was going to die. All I could do was pray. I called my mom at 1:27 a.m. and asked her to pray for me. And my step dad was on another phone with his brother-in-law. Within a minute of me calling I heard him screaming, "No Jimmy, No! Don't tell me that! No, No, No!" I knew what had happened. His sister Diane died, she died right then, while I was on the phone asking for prayer. I just started crying and praying. I felt so guilty, cause I don't think I prayed for her salvation while she was alive and maybe if I had started praying just a minute sooner, maybe she would still be alive. I started praying for her salvation right then, asking the Lord to have let her been saved and if she hadn't, to give her another chance. I told my mom to pray for her, she said its too late now. My mom told me that she had got saved not too long ago, when she was in the hospital sick. But for some reason, this didn't comfort me. It was just the way she said it, she sounded so doubtful. And my mind has been bombarded with thoughts of hell every since. And I have prayed and prayed and prayed. I have prayed for the salvation of every family member that I can think of, and that they would have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I just don't know what I should be doing in this situation. I feel so helpless and guilty.
I just now remembered reading the book '90 minutes in Heaven'. That man was dead for 90 minutes and someone prayed for him, and God gave him his life back. I wish I would have remembered that while I was talking to my mom.
But please remember my family in your prayers. Especially my step dad, Chester. He lost his parents pretty early in life, right around the age of 20. And he has lost three siblings now, they were fairly young too. His first loss was a sister, seven months old. Then he lost his only brother a few years ago, he was 44. And now he has lost sister Diane, his very best friend, she was also 44. And all three of his siblings have died of pneumonia. He is blaming her husband for her death, cause he told him to take her to the hospital yesterday. But Diane said, she'd just wait until tomorrow because she already had a doctor's appointment. He is also blaming himself. He just helped them move to North Carolina right before Christmas. And he thinks things would have been different if they had stayed here. All this blame isn't helping anyone. Please pray for him. He has one sister left, her name is Kim, they never talk. But I'm sure all of this will bring them closer together.
Please pray that God will let me be a light to my family. And that he will help me witness to them.
Thank you all so much! We desperately need prayer right now.
A Paradisical Morning
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